Nothing Like You

Now What?

2008-06-01T22:53:00.002-04:00

Well I was right. Memorial Day = bad news. As was expected, of course.

I'm back in Nashville now ... but I'm not really sure how long I will be here. I have horrible feelings of not being wanted / accepted, etc., and I just do not know. Things never really got resolved when I left in May - and I don't feel like they ever will, resulting in things never being the same.

My mom keeps telling me that God only gives us what we can handle - well I sure feel like I can't handle anymore, yet it just keeps coming. I can't really figure out what I've ever done to deserve crap like this - I was never a bad kid or teenager. Yeah I may have mouthed off here or there, but most parents would have killed for a teenager like me, never getting in trouble, not drinking, you get the idea.

I just ask why. Why, why why?

:(

Welcome Home

2008-05-21T23:29:00.003-04:00

I've been home for the past twelve days; and in ten I will be heading back to Tennessee. As much as I wish I could say this trip has been relaxing, it really hasn't. Not that I've been super busy - because that isn't the case. My mind hasn't stopped racing. There's so much going on that I don't even know where to start trying to sort through everything up there.

It probably doesn't help that I do not have one person I can be 100% completely open with - no matter how hard I try. It seems like I can tell someone 90% of what's on my mind, but that last 10% always remains locked inside - and it's different for different people. Well for the most part. There's about 5% of stuff I keep locked in, which is more than likely the 5% I need to talk about the most.

Blah? This weekend is going to be long ... and Memorial Day is on Monday. I can not for the life of me figure out why I always end up extremely pissed off on Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Labor Day, but it is a guarantee. Oh the joy.

Most Expensive Chicken Nuggets Anywhere

2008-04-16T09:14:00.002-04:00

On Monday, CMT had well taken over campus for the CMT Awards to be held that night; consequently altering our food services & inconveniencing us. But whatever. I stopped at Chick-Fil-A and grabbed lunch before heading into work.

Something in my jaw went crazy while I was eating and all of a sudden I had not one, but two chipped teeth from the chicken. Oh how lovely.

Tuesday afternoon I went to the dentist, and $400 later, I had my teeth x-rayed and filed down so I could live with them until I go home in May.

So there you have it - $400 chicken nuggets. I wouldn't suggest you try them at home.

Evaluations

2008-03-05T23:29:00.002-05:00

With certain courses this semester, I am forced to complete evaluations on my fellow group members, my professor and myself. And with everything else I have been struggling with lately, from friends to family, I really to re-evaluate those people I do have in my life.

I'm going to put some serious consideration into the relationships I have with various people in my life. Some have caused me nothing but heartache in recent months, and I can absolutely not deal with that anymore. I need to become a stronger person, and if that means limiting the people I let get close to me, then so be it.

And to all the guys out there - treat girls with respect. Don't play mind games with them or confuse them with your actions whether it be intentionally or unintentionally. Just think about it - would you want your mother or sister treated that way? Didn't think so.

Life is a Struggle

2008-02-27T00:47:00.003-05:00

Like, a really really hard struggle. And this struggle is killing me right now. I hate it. I just want to go home so my mom can hug me and make all of my problems go away. Say what you want - she's the only one that is always there for me.

I need to get out of here. The entertainment industry {music industry ... whatever} really messes you up..

36 Hours and 625 Miles Later...

2008-02-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been silly stringed by a band? Because today we were.

Lets start from the beginning. Friday afternoon, we set off for Chattanooga for The Heart Support tour featuring This Beautiful Republic, Spoken, Falling Up and Family Force 5. The show was overall very entertaining.

But of course, the TBR guys (& stephanie) never let us down. We had a ridiculous amount of stuff in their care package and finally gave it to them, and a guy with Spoken totally took off with the Puppy Chow. Andy chased him down and finally retrieved it. Maria gave Andy a pepper shaker (because he's slightly obsessed). Overall, they are just crazy insane awesome guys. And Ben. Oh Ben. I can't even speak about him anymore.

Then it was off to Steak & Shake. We hung out for about an hour then parted ways with Maria (she was coming back to Nashville). We had an hour drive up to Sweetwater for the hotel. Get there, and its a fight with the clerk to actually get our room. Ugh. Finally got to sleep around 3 am.

We were up and out by 11am. We stopped part of the way up to Johnson City to buy fireworks. Remember that for later. Get to the town around 2? Don't really remember. Its been a long time without good sleep. Randomly walk into the venue, and this guy goes who are you here with. And we go "the band." And he's like "yeah, you girls don't look like high school kids around here." Really? Was it the colored hair and facial piercings that gave it away?

Whatever. Anyways, find Matt from The Afters and he's like "wow! Ya'll are here early." Well, we kinda weren't totally sure if we were gonna be able to get in or not, so yeah. Then Marc comes up and decides to give us a carepackage! Or well, him going into the green room and gathering cookies & waterbottles for us. But still, it was so sweet. Matt tells us to go chill for awhile while they do soundcheck then they'll get us passes for the show.

We wait, then some of them go to find Josh (Havens) and apparently he forgot we were coming? Despite the numerous messages & comments reminding him. Whatev. Get our passes (which are annoyingly large white stickers), but still had V.I.P. and all access on them. SCORE. Given this was basically a private event? Ha, basically.

We take off for the mall to find a dinosaur for Dino-Josh (Muckala). About 15 stores and three hours later, we are back at the venue & successful in finding out dinosaur. We get the care package together but by then they were getting ready to go on. We watched the speaker, who was an insanely cool guy. That was definitely interesting, considering the event was called "Pledge 2 Purity." Finally they came on :) The Afters performed a 45 minute set that included three or four new tracks and a bunch from their first album.

After the show is when it all went down. Basically, we had our own dressing room. It was marked "Women's Restroom / Dressing Room" and its not like there were women working / performing at this event. So, taking advantage of that, we decided to film an episode of our show? Sure. Don't know what name we came up with, but its funny. At one point, I walked out of the room, and Marc (the drummer) comes up to me and hands me one of his drum heads from the night - and it wasn't even ruined! He wrote on it "To The Diehards, We <3 You! Love, The Afters." And of course he had signed it. Seriously, could he be any nicer?! We had the rest of the guys sign it before we left.

We bummed around back there for awhile, and gave Josh (M) his dinosaur which was too funny. We attempted to help them pack their van, but they insisted otherwise. Then, we gave them their care package (which included Puppy Chow, Rice Krispie Treats, cookies & Silly String). And after (ha) much debate, they accepted. We walked up to the top of the venue to load out their merch, and had a competition with the van horn & Moriah's horn on her car. And this is where it gets fun.

They were laughing at how weak it was, as if we could control that. And then, they slowly drive up next to us, with the passenger window down, and Matt and Josh (H) hanging out the front window, and totally cover the car (and Moriah) in silly string! Oh boy was it on. Remember the fireworks earlier in the day? It was a mad dash to find the little poppers (that you throw at the ground and they go POP!). We finally pull up next to them at a light and attack! They totally had no idea what hit them. The look on Josh M's face was priceless! And with that, Josh H began scrambling to find the silly string again. Mark, who was driving, rolls down the window and says "Hey! That's not nice!" And with that, Jessie nails the door frame with one and he totally jumped. Josh H finally gets the silly string and is trying to shoot it out of the driver's window when Mark rejects him by rolling it up. They finally pull away and get the window down and are still shooting it, and its just now flying through the air trailing after the van. Hahahahaha. Oh goodness.

We stopped about 40 minutes later at McDonald's only to find Moriah's back still covered in silly string, along with the back of her car. I started typing this once we were back on the road, and then we see a van & trailer pass us, and we knew it had to be another band. We get up next to them, and scrambled to find a piece of paper & marker and Moriah writes "Who R You?" Ha. We got a weird response, then passed them, then when we slowed down to get next to them, we hold her number up, as the guy in the passenger sear (who we found out to be named Trey) is holding up his cell phone with his number on it to call him. After slight confusion, we found out they are in a big band named Burning Las Vegas. Basically a cover band, but something we are all curious to check out after having some interesting phone conversations with.

Now I'm back in my dorm, getting ready to go meet up with a group for a project this week. Overall, it was a crazy weekend, but I totally loved it. Travel really is amazing and everyone should try it once and awhile ;)

On the Road Again

2008-02-08T01:42:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow my friends & I are setting off on a weekend road trip across Tennessee. There's been drama lately ... hopefully we'll all survive the trip.

Friday it's off to Chattanooga to see This Beautiful Republic & Family Force 5. Then we're driving an hour north, staying at a hotel, and finishing the drive Saturday to Johnson City to see The Afters.

600+ miles and over 9 hours in the car in a 36 hour period. Here we go!

Blah ... ?

2008-01-27T23:35:00.001-05:00

Even after spending a ton of time with my friends this weekend, I still feel alone.

I don't like feeling alone.

Whoa!

2008-01-27T14:39:00.000-05:00

Where has the time gone?! I swear this semester is already flying by ... I can't believe January is almost over! Ahh. School, my internship & work have kept me insanely busy. The past two nights I've spent with friends but it was long overdue. Sometimes I really really need it.

This week will be crazy. I have to meet with two groups for projects, I have a test Wednesday and a 7 page paper due Thursday night. Then next weekend is our mini-road trip :) Yay.

Burning Plastic

2008-01-16T19:39:00.001-05:00

Definitely not the most pleasant smelling thing in the world, but what are you going to do? Today my task at the Internship was to laminate the all access passes for the Promoters for the upcoming Stellar Kart Tour. I did about 50 I do believe. Friday will be the band / touring personnel, and of course for us in the office :) Don't even know for sure yet if I'll be able to make it to a show (closest is 3 hours - boo!) but if I do ;)

We'll be doing the Kutless ones probably some time next week. I know I'll be able to see them, as they are playing about 45 minutes away in April. Sweet birthday present to me!

Tonight I'm off to see Through a Glass. Always a pleasure to attend one of their shows!

NEXT PLEASE.

2008-01-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

Today was one interesting day, I will say that. This morning, I was up at the crack of dawn to head to the Sommet Center for the Sound & Speed Event. Basically, it was one big autograph signing with Nascar Drivers & Country Singers. We were each assigned to a group before we got there. Cody & I somehow ended up in group #3. Some pyshco people were with us, but whatever. Got our assignments for artists/drivers, and were like 'oh noone for the 3rd group.' Turned over the paper. OH WAIT. Just kidding. Here's what our schedule of people was like:

Session A:
Scott Wimmer & Cowboy Crush

Session B:
Michael Waltrip & Danielle Peck

Session C:
Dale Earnhardt Jr. & Taylor Swift

Basically, the biggest draw of the day were the last two. Insane is an understatement. Slightly hard to describe ... media was crazy swarming around them, which made getting the fans through even more difficult. But whatever. We pushed 250 people through Dale Jr.'s line in about 35 minutes ... pit crew speed record for sure!!

Then I had about 45 minutes to come back & get changed and head to Brentwood to meet the diehards and these guys that go by Ben, Adam, Jeremy, Brandon & Andy or collectively, This Beautiful Republic. We decided since they are pretty awesome & in town recording for awhile that we'd treat them to dinner :) Spent about two and a half hours at Applebee's with them and it was a lot of fun. Crazy stuff that will be for another day!

Anyways, here's a picture.

And I'm gonna crash. Been up way to long.

It's like ... a tradition

2008-01-09T23:32:00.000-05:00

So it's a school tradition for them to host a concert on the first night of classes in the fall semesters. But it's worked out the past two spring semesters that bands we know are also playing shows on the first night of classes. Fall '06 semester Jars of Clay played at school. Spring '07 semester we went to see Family Force 5. This past Fall semester, Mikeschair, Bebo Norman & Shane and Shane played here at school. And tonight, Wavorly was playing in town.

I really hope this trend continues. It's a unique way to kick off a new semester of school, for sure.

Damn Ice

2008-01-02T18:37:00.000-05:00

Had to go to the dentist today for my 6th month check up. Go figure, I had to drive and there was about 6 inches of snow that had fallen since last night. All was fine til I was leaving the dentist office and hit the top step (which was convienently covered in ice) and totally wiped out. I was shaken up and went to the car, but my grandparents came & picked me up and took me to the ER to get x-rays on my back (I couldn't take deep breaths).

Now that I've been home for 5 hours, I'm starting to ache in more places. My left ankle is messed up & I'm limping and I think my tailbone is bruised as well.

Great, just what I need.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T00:59:00.001-05:00

Here's to another year down, and a brand new one starting.

Here's to hoping & praying that this year will be a great one in all aspects of our lives!

Another Year, Come and Gone

2007-12-31T14:28:00.000-05:00

Here we are, yet again. December 31st. And what do I have to do tonight? Absolutely nothing. My mom & stepdad are going out with my grandparents, who knows where my dad will be, and I'm all too uncool to spend New Year's with my friends these days. Oh whatever. I did recently purchase Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy ... maybe I'll start a marathon this afternoon.

I've had the pleasure of seeing all of my cousins together a few times since I've been home. Here is a picture from this past friday when we all took my grandparents out for lunch. (Danny is missing because he got really sick right before we left).

Friday night I got to see my love, Ian. I haven't seen him since August, and I swear he grows & gets so much smarter each time.

I guess that is all. Have a great new year!

Ready, Set, Bowl.

2007-12-30T11:01:00.000-05:00

So last night, I agreed to go bowling with Lurk, Swaz & Nerdio at a bowling alley in town that shall remain nameless. (There's only 2 that do glow bowling & we weren't in the ghetto).

We had an effed up lane since we started. Lane 11 cursed us. The 10 pin was virtually non-existant for us last night. Every third or fourth person to bowl might actually have 10 pins set up. But fine, whatever.

Then, we all took turns going up to the front counter because our pins just wouldn't reset. And then when they did, they'd do one of two things. Reset, and be on the second time, so you'd only have one chance to knock them down, or they'd reset and be fine. It was unpredictable though. You never knew what they wanted to do. Then sometimes the bar would randomly come down and reset on their own when we were waiting to bowl.

During the second game I went to throw the ball, and something in my right hand popped, and the ball literally fell out of my hand. Needless to say, I was done bowling for the night and I now have a very sore wrist & hand. Around 2, Swaz was taking his turn, and the bar decides to come down and his ball crashes into it ... one of the kids comes over a minute or two later and starts freaking on us. Then he left. It wasn't getting fixed, but it was his ball so we had to ask to get it back. He went down to get it, came back and told Swaz he has to replace the the pin setter if they can't fix it. They took down his name & number then actually called his cell to make sure he didn't give them a fake number.

Oh goodness. Fun night.

Mixed Emotions

2007-12-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

Coming home now there are such mixed emotions it seems. I'm definitely excited to see my family after being gone for so long because I know they care and are excited to see me, and be able to do things with me when I'm home. I take for granted how lucky I am/was to grow up with all of my cousins in the same town, and to see them at every holiday and many times in between. Now that I might only see them 4-5 times a year, I try to make them count that much more.

As for my friends, I don't feel a sense of belonging with them anymore. It sucks, especially with friends I've known forever. It may seem like things haven't changed when you're gone ... but don't be fooled. They've changed and so have you. And it'll never be the same.

I have to keep telling myself that ... it'll never be the same.

Family

2007-12-24T23:07:00.000-05:00

Christmas Eve is literally one of my favorite days of the year. Its an almost guarantee that all of my cousins will be in the same room, for even a little while. And tonight didn't let me down. With everyone growing up and half of us in college or about to start college, its something I know won't happen much from now on.

My grandma got out of the hospital about an hour before the annual party, and she still went home, took a shower, and went to the party with a smile on her face, even through all the pain. The strength she has is undeniable.

But, it's Christmas Eve and there are some last minute things to be done.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Hospitals

2007-12-23T21:44:00.003-05:00

So depressing ... especially at this time of year. Blah blah blah.

The Eve of Christmas Eve

2007-12-23T16:28:00.000-05:00

I've been reading so many blogs lately, that I felt like I needed to start one on my own again. I've had a few here and there in the past, but maybe this one will stick. Maybe not. Whatever.

Anyways, its my 5th full day home for break, with only 14 full days left before I board a plane back to Tennessee. Someday, I wish Christmas would just be easy. But it never is. This morning my grandmother (Mom's side) was admitted to the hospital after not sleeping last night from pains in her back, side, arm and chest. They've ruled out heart attack but need more tests to really figure out what is wrong. I just pray she'll be home sometime tomorrow so Christmas Eve and Christmas Day can be like they've always been. I don't do change well for some reason...

Finally got my new macbook yesterday. I'm in love with it. And the Photobooth / iSight camera. Below is a picture of my Mom & I from earlier today. I really do miss her when I am at school.