Now What?

Well I was right. Memorial Day = bad news. As was expected, of course.

I'm back in Nashville now ... but I'm not really sure how long I will be here. I have horrible feelings of not being wanted / accepted, etc., and I just do not know. Things never really got resolved when I left in May - and I don't feel like they ever will, resulting in things never being the same.

My mom keeps telling me that God only gives us what we can handle - well I sure feel like I can't handle anymore, yet it just keeps coming. I can't really figure out what I've ever done to deserve crap like this - I was never a bad kid or teenager. Yeah I may have mouthed off here or there, but most parents would have killed for a teenager like me, never getting in trouble, not drinking, you get the idea.

I just ask why. Why, why why?

:(

Welcome Home

I've been home for the past twelve days; and in ten I will be heading back to Tennessee. As much as I wish I could say this trip has been relaxing, it really hasn't. Not that I've been super busy - because that isn't the case. My mind hasn't stopped racing. There's so much going on that I don't even know where to start trying to sort through everything up there.

It probably doesn't help that I do not have one person I can be 100% completely open with - no matter how hard I try. It seems like I can tell someone 90% of what's on my mind, but that last 10% always remains locked inside - and it's different for different people. Well for the most part. There's about 5% of stuff I keep locked in, which is more than likely the 5% I need to talk about the most.

Blah? This weekend is going to be long ... and Memorial Day is on Monday. I can not for the life of me figure out why I always end up extremely pissed off on Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Labor Day, but it is a guarantee. Oh the joy.

Life is a Struggle

Like, a really really hard struggle. And this struggle is killing me right now. I hate it. I just want to go home so my mom can hug me and make all of my problems go away. Say what you want - she's the only one that is always there for me.

I need to get out of here. The entertainment industry {music industry ... whatever} really messes you up..

Happy New Year!

Here's to another year down, and a brand new one starting.

Here's to hoping & praying that this year will be a great one in all aspects of our lives!